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Starlets: 

• Jade Marcela - Awesome Indonesian beauty with insatiable sexual appetite.  Raincoater favorite.  Unfortunately, this is one of her weakest scenes ever!  MVP

DVD Features:  Jump to Scenes, Photo Shoots, DVD-DVD/ROM, IBM/MAC Compatible, Non Regional Coding, Dolby Sound (Some of these features did not work on my player -- read notes below!).

TOTAL SCORE

HIGHLIGHTS!

• Scene One  - On her knees Jade gives a brief, but hot wet BJ.
• Scene Four - Hot blond whimpers through doggy, sideways and reverse cowgirl anal.  
• Scene Six - An unknown starlet takes Ron Jeremy & another guy in her ass at the same time (RCA)!
• Scene Six - Ron Jeremy tries in vain to make the unknown starlet's butthole gape wide.

REVIEW

SCENE ONE - 
Jade Marcela and one guy

The first scene takes place in a kitchen.  A guy is washing dishes and Jade walks into the room.  The guy is using the hand spraying to rinse off a dish.  He notices how the water is squirting out, and says to Jade, "My last girlfriend used to squirt when we did anal."  Jade asks him to her teach her.  Jade looks very attractive in a body hugging, short red dress.  The dress somehow makes her boobs and butt look bigger than normal.

There's some brief kissing and the guy puts her up on the counter island.  He pulls her dress down over her tits and sucks them for a little bit.  Jade lies back and spreads her legs.  She isn't wearing any underwear.  The guy eats her pussy and fingers her a tad with one finger.  The dress is strapless and the tattoos on her back show.  Next Jade squats down on the floor and sucks the guy's cock.  She looks very hot in this position giving the guy a BJ.  Almost right away she produces a lot of drool and lets it run out of her mouth.  The guy notes that her mouth is "already squirting." Jade's lips look luscious wrapped around the dude's wet pole.  There is some good camera work from above and the starlet makes good eye contact.

Then Jade gets fucked while sitting on the counter.  The guy pulls her close toward his body.  There are some unnecessary slow motion shots included of the in and out action.  The man rams his cock in Jade's pussy hard.  Next Jade gets screwed from behind while standing.  She's leaning on the kitchen counter as the guy stuffs her sweet spot.  Again, he fucks her hard and fast and Jade is very vocal, but she mostly repeats "Oh God, Oh God" over and over.  

About nine minutes into the scene, Jade is seen getting poked up the ass.  She's sitting on a bar stool and leaning back on the kitchen counter.  There is a close up  insertion shot, but it is too dark to make up many details.  The guy fucks her ass pretty deep at medium speed.  Jade uses her hands to reach under and spread her cheeks.  The shot is from the front with the camera under the guy.  When the angle changes to show Jade and the Guy from the side and a little bit to the rear, Jade's hands are not in the same position spreading her ass.  At no time is the cock in her ass combined with a full body shot, so it seems likely that a portion of the anal portion was faked.  The guy positions her legs up and pushes them back.  Presumably he is boning her ass, but it is hard to say.  Jade is still pretty loud, but she doesn't vary from her "Oh God" routine.  Jade switches positions slightly and there is more anal penetration on her side.  You can see the cock moving in between her butt cheeks but not up her butt.  Her cheeks needed to be spread to make the shot effective.  

About two minutes later the camera changes to a side view and the viewer can see the guy's dick pumping Jade.  Whether it is in her pussy or ass can not be determined.  Then Jade appears to gush a good amount of liquid on the guy.  It appears to be yellow like piss, but it does not come out in a stream.  It is hard to say what it is exactly given the angle and distance but the guy's crotch and dick get pretty wet.  It's a shame a more effective camera angle was not utilized.  Then again, the poor camera placement may be intentional if the scene was staged.  Jade scoots off the counter, squats on the floor and sticks out her tongue.  The guy whacks off and tries to cum in her mouth, but it mostly drips on the floor or on her body.  Jades squeezes the cum in her mouth out and lets it drip off her face.  

Even though Jade is the only girl featured on the box and the title of this feature is Fuck My Ass, See Me Squirt, this mostly lame scene is her only appearance.  The anal action is less than two minutes including what appears to be faked footage.  Why the footage needed to be faked at all is quite a mystery since Ms. Marcela performs anal just about every time she is up to bat, and not Vivid style booty banging either.  The girl has put her butt on the line in half a dozen Max Hardcore pictures, three gangbangs and dozens of other raincoat style gonzo productions.  If I a porno producer, and I hired Jade Marcela in the starring role for a feature called Fuck My Ass, I'd sure as hell shoot more anal footage than sixty seconds worth.  A lot more.  As for the "squirting", this was misleading as well.  On the front of the box, a picture of Jade pissing is prominently shown.  Along with the "tinkle, tinkle" quote, it's more than reasonable to expect some type of serious pissing related content.  I didn't see any.  The squirting here was more like a female orgasm popularized in the old "Rainwoman" series and highly suspect at that.  Needless to say, this scene was a major disappointment and I'm sure that other Jade Marcela fans, anal fans, and squirting fans will feel the same way.  Unfortunately, those three groups probably comprise about ninety percent of the target market for this DVD.

Snowman's scene grade: C, Raincoat Points: 36

SCENE TWO
Unknown older woman plus 2 guys

The DVD very abruptly cuts from Jade's heavenly mouth dripping cum to some ugly, old skank trying to get some poor guy's dick hard orally.  This woman looks like middle aged street walker addicted to meth who lives out of motels that rent for fourteen bucks a night.  The sudden change from Jade to this old hag on unsuspecting viewers is inexcusable and cruel.  Lingering errections from Scene One will instantly be banished.   Intelligent viewers should bolt for the remote and speed scan though this scene.  Gluttons for punishment can read on.

The woman appears to be 45 and has brown hair.  Appropriately she's wearing tall, white hooker boots.  This is an older scene and the video quality is only fair.  The woman is lying down on a couch and giving a BJ to one of the guys.  The other guy in the scene is using a flexible orange dildo bent into a U on her pussy and ass at the same time.  The BJ guy is having wood problems, which is completely understandable.  The old woman tries to give him a handjob to get the cock hard.  There's no sound in this scene, just generic synthesizer music.  

The woman is shown getting fucked with the dildo in her cunt only.  She squirts for about one second.  Piss?  Female cum?  Who knows?  In this instance, I don't want to know.  Then she is seen getting screwed in the reverse cowgirl position.  Then the camera switches back to dildo fucking.  Then back to screwing.  The sequences are spliced together in a jumbled, nonsensical way.  The old woman bounces good on the guys pole.  She has a flabby body and fat stomach.  Back to the dildo.  She squirts out some whitish milky fluid.  Yuck!  Abruptly the scene changes to anal in the reverse cowgirl position.  Then it switches back to something else.  More anal is shown again.  One guy is seen screwing her in the missionary position and he cums on her chest.  The woman is seen performing RCA again and seems to piss for about two seconds.  The scene ends.  

Snowman's scene grade: D-, Raincoat Points: 09

SCENE THREE 
Unknown blond plus one guy

Thankfully, the starlet in Scene three is an attractive blond with glasses.  She is working in a office and wearing a polka dot dress.  I'm not sure how old the scene is, but the office equipment was from the early 90's.  

The couple starts things off with kissing and the guy proceeds to suck her big tits.  She lays back on the desk and there is eating at the Y.  The girl is wearing black stockings and matching black lace panties.  He licks her pussy and she sucks his other finger.  She doesn't say much other than "yea".  This scene begins in a similar fashion to Jade's.  

Next the girl is seen getting screwed doggy style in the office chair.  The viewer can now see her shaved pussy, with a little bit of trim at top.  The guy fucks her hard.  There's a brief break when the blond squirts (female cum not piss), and then the guy goes back to his task.  Next the guy is seen in the chair on the receiving end of a BJ.  The girl seems fairly skilled at oral sex.  She uses her hand on his cock shaft quite a bit as well.  The guy sits up and begins to titty fuck the woman hard and fast.  I noticed she had very nice nipples during this sequence.  The scene shifts and she is shown getting screwed again while sitting on the sofa.  She spreads her crotch area wide while getting dicked and the viewer is provided with nice shots of her pussy and asshole.  The guy cums on her pussy and reinserts his cock.  He pulls out again and she strokes it.  They kiss and the scene ends.

The girl in this scene is probably a professional porno actress, but I could not identify her.  Wasn't this supposed to be an anal film?

Snowman's scene grade: C-, Raincoat Points: 22

SCENE FOUR (Snowman's Pick for Best Scene!)
Unknown Blond and one guy

This scene features a blond with long straight hair and bangs in front.  She's wearing a leopard skinned panty and bra set and black fuck me pumps.  She has big boobs.  Overall, I thought she was hot looking.  

The action begins immediately with the guy massaging her ass.  The blond is on her hands and knees and sucking on the guy's knob.  As the guy kneads her ass with his hands, he moves her panties over and exposes her pussy.  Her pussy looks pretty dry and her ass looks like it has been stuffed in the past on the regular basis.  The guy inserts one finger in her anus.  Unlike the hectic pace of the earlier scenes, this one is allowed to unfold at a more leisurely pace.  The girl makes good eye contact during the BJ and looks pretty sexy.  

Next, she is seen getting screwed cowboy style.  This provides an excellent view of her ample ass.  It's big, but it's not really flabby.  Then, the focus switches to anal action.  The starlet performs anal in the doggy position.  It's clear that her butt is greased up well.  At this point she is nude.  There is good camera work during this sequence.  The camera captures a variety of angles including close ups, facial expressions and full body shots.  The girl faces the camera during her anal pounding and makes good eye contact.  Although the cock has no difficultly going in her ass, she seems to be somewhat uncomfortable and whimpers quite a bit.  Then she is seen getting anally reamed in the sideways position.  She screams a lot and continues to whimper even though the guy is fucking her gently.  Finally, she takes the cock up her ass reverse cowgirl style.  Again, it's a struggle for her, and her thighs seems to quiver.  he gets on her knees and the guy jerks off on her open mouth and face.  

I didn't see anything remotely related to squirting or pissing in this scene.  Again, the girl here is probably an established porn star, but I am not certain of her identity.  Her looks and the decent anal action add up to what is probably the best scene on this disc.  

Snowman's scene grade: B, Raincoat Points: 42

SCENE FIVE 
Unknown brunette and one guy

The girl in this scene is a brunette who looks a little on the order of Neve Campbell.  It appears to take place in standard hotel room.  She is wearing white lace panties and stockings with black pumps.  The girl's breasts are medium sized and she has poutly lips.  

To begin she undresses the guy and then goes down on him.  The guy is lying down on the bed.  He fingers her pussy with two fingers as she performs the BJ.  Next the girl is seen getting fucked in the missionary position.  The guy bounces on the bed a lot as he pumps her.  For much of this sequence, there are no hardcore shots.  Then she is seen flipped over and getting dicked doggie style.  The camera does a slow pan shot of both the girl and the guy's body.  Next time, they can skip the lingering camera on the guy's body.  There are a few pussy shots finally.  The guy pulls out and cums on her ass.    

Hmmmm, once again, wasn't this movie called Fuck My Ass, See Me Squirt?  What happened to that?  This scene seems culled from some Vivid movie that was made for cable TV or hotels.  From time to time a woman with cat makeup is seen peeking into the window.  That might give a clue where this scene is from.  This starlet is probably a porn actress from the past that I did not follow.  Raincoaters can skip over this scene entirely without missing anything.

Snowman's scene grade: D+, Raincoat Points: 15

SCENE SIX
Unknown brunette and two guys (Ron Jeremy)

The final scene features a chunky girl with brownish hair and large breasts.  She is wearing an unremarkable night slip.  She has a hairy bush and poor skin.  There are two guys in this scene, one of which is a very overweight Ron Jeremy.  The guys are dressed in army clothing. The video quality is at best fair in this scene.  The picture has poor color and is grainy.  Many VHS tapes look better than this.  

The sex begins with the girl on her hands and knees.  She gives Ron a blowjob and the other guy for awhile just sort of diddles with her cheeks.  Then she sucks both cocks at once.  The unknown guy goes to her rear again and begins to fuck her doggy style.  Ron continues to receive oral attention.  The girl is moderately noisy when she gets laid.  Quickly the action switches to reverse cowgirl anal.  The unknown guy with the smaller dick is in her ass.  She tries to bounce on the cock, but has difficulty.  The cock comes out several times.  The camera captures the anal sex well.  During the RCA, she sucks Ron's dick.  

Next the girl is double penetrated.  Ron takes the pussy position.  After just a few seconds he jerks off on her thigh and then immediately sticks it back in her cunt and starts pounding away again.  The film so grainy at this point that I  thought some shadows on her upper thighs were bruises.  Surprising, the girl then performs double anal.  She is still in the RCA position.  Ron manages to cram his huge cock into her ass at the same time as the other guy.  Although it definitely looks snug, the girl's ass accommodates both guys with ease.  Ron plays with her clit as he and the other guy fuck her ass.  The girl is pretty much silent during this double ass plugging.  It's a little bit hard to see the action well, due in part to Ron's big stomach.  Although the view of her stuffed butt is clear, her pussy area is obscured at times.  But that's a minor quibble.  Eventually Ron gets a good motion going and she says "That's goooood." 

Then the girl is shown assuming the doggie position.  She reaches back and spreads her cheeks for another anal plunge courtesy of Ron.  Ron sticks his rod up her butt and attempts to gape her.  The camera captures all the ass action very well.  This is partly because Ron is actually standing off a little to the side as he reams her asshole.  This would only be possible with a longer sized dick.  It's a fairly long and intense anal sequence.  No matter how much Ron tries, the girl's puckered asshole will not open for a Liz Harper style gape.  It closes up swiftly every time. 

The scene and DVD wrap up when both guys stand on opposite sides of her and cum on her face.  

The final scene contains lots of nasty action of interest to anal fans.  Too bad the girl wasn't more attractive and the video quality was so poor.

Snowman's scene grade: B-, Raincoat Points: 40

DVD SPECIFIC COMMENTS

This DVD brings a new meaning to no frills, budget discs.  After inserting the disc, the user is presented with two simple options, "Slideshow" and "Autoplay".  On my Sony DVD player, I was unable to get the slideshow to work.  Regardless of which option I chose, the disc would simply begin to play.  Every time it started, a forty-five second phone sex commercial would play that could not be aborted.  Other deficiencies were also found immediately.  Despite the description on the box, I could not jump to a scene.  Even worse, there appear to be no chapters on disc.  If I attempted to skip to the next scene or go back to the previous one, the disc would start playing from the beginning again.  Lastly, even the "Menu" button did not work.  Pressing "Menu" had no effect at all.

As noted in the body of the review, the technical quality of the scenes varied a great deal.  Depending on the scene, the picture quality ranged from very good to fair.  The best of the bunch is Jade's scene, which probably was filmed for this feature based on the squirting oriented dialog.  However, even on that scene I noticed technical glitches throughout.  The sound quality of the performers was only fair, although the synth driven soundtrack was clear.  

To be perfectly honest, this disc looked and performed like it was mastered by a beginner using consumer level software.  This disc makes Metro and Vivid titles which regularly sell for under $10.00 look like the bee's knees.

CONCLUSION

Skip it.  Don't be fooled by the box cover.  This is not a pissing oriented tape.  If you seek anal action, there are countless better choices.  And if you're a Jade Marcela fan, don't get this unless you want to see her weakest scene ever.  This was my first experience with "Good Fuck Productions".  If this title is representative of their entire line of product, I wonder who exactly is getting a good fuck -- the starlets or their customers?

Feature Grade Point Average: 1.90 (C-)
Total Raincoat Points: 164, Average Raincoat Points Per Scene: 27.33
Bang for the Buck Rating: 10.86 (based on average price of $15.09 based on 8 web retailers 11.06.00)

Second Opinion? 
No other reviews of this video are known.  If you find one on the web, please email me!

Review Date: 11.06.2000

OTHER SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS

On the date of this review, the price for this DVD varied by more than 100% at online adult retailers.  Although the average price was about $15, it was available for as little as $7.99.

I noticed that Good Fuck Productions has another featured called Squirting Pussy Cum.  I think that describes what is going on in some of the scenes here.  It's a poor practice to mislead consumers as to the content of a feature.  

If this movie appeals to you, Snowman recommends:

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