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Guest Flash Review (Renald)

Big Tit Patrol

(To Zoom in on the front of the box cover, click here . Sorry back cover not available at this time due to explicit photos]
 

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Or you can watch this movie right now via WMP Streaming! (Cumming Soon)

Starlets: 

 Category  Wall to Wall / Big Boob
 Director  Lola
 Themes  big tits, straight sex, titty-fucking
 Production or Street Date  12.04-06.05 date of production, released 09.13.05
 Released By  Addictive Entertainment / Twisted Pink
 Available Formats  DVD
 Running Time  65 minutes
 Source and Price Paid  DVD courtesy of Twisted Pink.
 Box Cover Quote  "Alexis Silver - Begging to be hammered!  Brandy Taylor - takes a load on her huge tits and mouth."

Synopsis

Five big titty bitches fuck, suck and take loads on their massive melons.  These scenes are lifted from the "Big Tit Patrol" website.

What's Hot

The disc delivers for fans of big tits.  Good casting in that regard.

Both Brandy and Piper are incredibly sexy and put on an incredible show. It the kind of porn you can watch without second guessing all of your morals.

What's Not

The girls seem to have been chosen only for the size of their chests. They don’t all have pretty faces and they don’t perform well either.  In addition, none of them are very kinky.  For instance, there no anal content on this disc whatsoever.

Very short running time relative to other discs.  Just sixty-five minutes.

Where are the DVD extras?

Play By Play

Below is a detailed description of each scene:

  Scene One - Alexis Silver & one guy (Billy Glide)

Sex Checklist: oral, straight sex, titty fucking

I have to be honest, Alexis has a sexy accent and I enjoy listening to her talk. Like all the girls on this video she has an incredible rack which for me is huge plus. A girl with a nice rack and a great ass can get away with a lot. With that said this girl is not very attractive in my opinion. There is a brief interview to introduce her, actually something I enjoyed watching (which is a change, I HATE interviews and half baked plots.) The scene moves, rather abruptly to Alexis giving great head. This is a woman who was born to suck cock and watching those double d tits wobble every time she moves is priceless. The camera work is pretty bad at times switching positions and angles at the same time can get confusing. Over all Alexis has a great body. When this cowgirl mounts her stallion her tits are all over the place. The positions are a little predicable but no less enjoyable for it. All the normal positions are gone through but nothing that really catches the eye either. The scene climaxes with her costar cumming across her giant tits.

Scene One Rating: 7.50
Starlet appearance: 7.00, Starlet attitude and personality: 8.00, Sexual Heat: 7.50, Raincoat appeal: 7.50

  Scene Two - Piper Austin & one guy (Billy Glide)

Sex Checklist: oral, straight sex, titty fucking

Piper gives us a short interview to start of her scene, not enough to get bored with though. Just introducing who she is and her bra size. Even though the camera work is still slightly jarring Piper manages to overcome this obstacle and perform. Watching this starlet work her lips over a big dick is great. She has such a gusto as she swallows her costar’s cock and some of the angles are spectacular. I love staring at a girl’s ass as she sucks cock. At some point during the scene they write the word fuck with arrows pointing towards her tits though with the camera work and the editing it is hard to tell when. There is plenty of pussy licking which sets the scene apart from most which only feature P2M. We get another cum shot over the sizable mammaries to end the scene.

Scene Two Rating: 8.81
Starlet appearance: 8.75, Starlet attitude and personality: 9.00, Sexual Heat: 9.00, Raincoat appeal: 8.50

  Scene Three - Eden & one guy (Billy Glide)

Sex Checklist: oral, straight sex

Eden is a beautiful woman and like all of the women on this video her tits are all (claimed to be) natural. 38 DD tits are a genuine gift from heaven and nobody can deny that. I enjoyed listening to her interview and it even has a brief fantasy section to get our attention which she succeeds in. Eden also keeps my full attention as she starts sucking dick, there is really something about watching a girl with massive tits go to work that gets your blood flowing. They go through all of the required positions and Eden puts on a great show in all of them though nothing is particularly breath taking. A third cum shot across the chests ends the scene.

Scene Three Rating: 7.85
Starlet appearance: 8.00, Starlet attitude and personality: 7.50, Sexual Heat: 7.90, Raincoat appeal: 8.00

  Scene Four - Vanessa Michaels with one guy (Will Powers)

Sex checklist: oral sex, 69, titty fucking, straight sex

Vanessa is a very sexy girl -- even on a video dedicated to big tits she is a step above. Blonde hair, blue eyes, a pierced shaved clit and an award winning ass. This girl is the total package. The scene starts with her getting eaten out but switches (via a jarring camera) to her sucking cock and finally into a 69. She looks great sucking cock and then grinding her tits all over her co-star’s cock. Vanessa starts the sex off in the reverse Cowgirl, which is a great position for her because it shows off her pierced naval and clit. They move through a few other positions, including missionary and spooning through the scene. It ends with Vanessa taking an impressive load across her tits.

Scene Four Rating: 8.25
Starlet appearance: 9.50, Starlet attitude and personality: 8.00, Sexual Heat: 7.50, Raincoat appeal: 8.00

  Scene Five - Brandy Talore (Taylor) with one guy (Rick Masters)

Sex checklist: oral sex, titty fucking, straight sex

Brandy Talore has a ridiculously huge rack. Those nice big tits fill out a 36 DDD bra which is simply incredible. There isn’t really away to appropriately describe the beauty of a woman with a rack this big. The interview just served to get you warmed up, I couldn’t wait to see them bouncing as Brandy was getting fucked. She started the scene getting her pussy eaten out then sucking some nice hard dick for us. Soon enough she was laying back with her legs spread and getting pounded. The best position she gets into is the reverse cowgirl though. You get a great look at her face as she moans and purrs for the camera and her tits literally clap together. She is easily the sexiest girl on this video. The cum shot is kinda weak though, taking place she tit fucks him you can barely see it happening.

Scene Four Rating: 9.18
Starlet appearance: 9.00, Starlet attitude and personality: 9.50, Sexual Heat: 9.25, Raincoat appeal: 9.00

Everything Else

There really isn’t anything else to talk about, the only extras are links to their websites and a photo gallery.

Production quality (audio/video) is good.

Last Word & Final Tally

A weak release overall, unless you are obsessed with gigantic hooters or a fan of the website.  If you have a big love for girls with big tits then go for it. If not, there are many better porn alternatives to spend your money on.

New (Experimental) SRR Rating Method:

Sexual Content Ratings (averaged & weighted 2x): 8.31
Average of all scenes listed above.

Production Ratings (weighted 1x):  8.33
Dialog/Story/Script: 9.00, Costumes/Clothing: 8.00, Location: 8.00

Technical Ratings (weighted 1x):  6.87

Camerawork: 5.00, Video Quality: 8.00, Audio Quality: 8.50, DVD Extras: 6.00

Overall Rating:  7.95 out of 10.00

-- Renald

Second Opinion?

Crucifixio Jones praised the strong casting on this disc and "great quality".  He noted it was a good opportunity for fans of the website to snag the scenes in a superior format.  He said there was "plenty of hot sex, but not enough of it."  Overall 3 1/2 out of 5 stars.

Review Date: 11.12.05, Edited and posted 12.14.05

Other Suggestions & Comments

On xx.xx.05, the average price for this dvd was $xx.xx based on xx online retailers.

  Speak Out!  Have you seen this movie and agree or disagree with this review?  Do you have additional comments you would like to post about it?  If so, please post your thoughts here!

If this movie appeals to you, Snowman recommends:  The Big Tit Patrol #02.  This is the second in the series.


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